The Professional Writer - Of War and Separation, When Parents Are Called Up

Caption

The Hanna sisters'
Valentine's Day gift to their
dad - a bracelet made with
their and their mom's names.

Candace and Rashad
Roberts hold a photo of
their father.

Caption

Sr Master Sgt. Mary Alden
and her sons.

DO YOU KNOW A SOLDIER?

Do you have a family member who is on call to be sent to the Persian Gulf region? If so, share with us how you and your family are preparing for the departure. How do you feel about this person possibly going to war?

Write or e-mail your thoughts to the addresses above; include your full name, grade, school, town, phone number and, if possible, the name and relationship of the military person who is on call. You can send photo of him or her, too. (Photos cannot be returned.) Please mark the envelope or e-mail: War Preparation.

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Newsday: Student Briefing Page On The News ▪ January 29, 2002

Of War and Separation
When Mom or Dad Are Called Up
By Paul Wisenthal

Megan Hanna, 12, and her sister Erin, 9, of Bay Shore, keep reminding their dad to carry a colorful bracelet they made for him in a pocket of his flight suit.

The bracelet - made with plastic beads spelling out their names and their mother’s - is their way of accompanying their father, Master Sgt. Wayne Hanna, when he leaves next month for the Persian Gulf. Hanna, a flight engineer with the 514th Air Mobility Wing at McGuire Air Force Base in New Jersey, is getting prepared in case President George W. Bush chooses to go to war against Iraq.

The girls gave the bracelet to him on Valentine’s Day last year just before he flew his 40th mission - that one was over Afghanistan; others have been over Iraq’s no-fly zone. Iraq’s aircraft are banned from flying over this area, patrolled by U.S. and British aircraft to protect the Kurds living there. Hanna is the flight engineer aboard an Air Force KC-10 aircraft, a modified DC-10, which refuels fighter planes.

“It helps me to know that he carries this with him on his flight suit,” said Megan. “I keep a diary and write about him. My sister and I also e-mail him every day.”

Many children in our area are facing the harsh reality of a close relative leaving to prepare for war. A U.S. force of more than 150,000 is ultimately expected to be poised for battle. Like the Hanna sisters, many of the family members left behind develop ways to help them cope.

“It can be scary thinking that my dad might not return,” said Chris Singh, 16, a junior at Half Hollow Hills High School West in Dix Hills. His father, also named Chris Singh, is a manager in the U.S. Postal Service and maintenance specialist with the rank of master sergeant with the 514th. He has completed two tours of duty in the Persian Gulf region since Sept. 11, 2001. He expects to be deployed again soon.

“I pick up Newsday and read the international section every day,” said Chris Jr. “It helps when I read in the paper that nothing serious happened to my dad’s unit.”

The younger Singh adds, “I also help my mom in the kitchen and sit at the head of the table and say grace while he is away.” His sister, Melissa, 20, recently brought home Zora, a tabby kitten, from a local pet shelter to comfort her mother, Sarah. “She cries a lot when my dad is away,” she said. “Having Zora around should help her during this difficult time.”

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For Christmas, the family presented the elder Singh with a ring inscribed “Dad” and a small photo of the family framed in a miniature recorder that carries family members saying, “We love you Dad, miss you old man, hope you miss us.” He plans to carry it and the ring in his flight suit. “When I miss the family,” Singh said, “I can look at the photo and hear their voices.”

Many parents in the military prepare their families for their leave-taking. For Senior Master Sgt. Mary Alden of Plainsboro, N.J., who is on the deployment list and also is with the 514th Air Mobility Wing, this means writing a sealed letter to her sons, aged 9 and 12, to be opened should she not return.

Her preparation is all the more necessary since her husband, Capt. Edward States, an airline pilot, died Nov. 12, 2001, when American Airlines Flight 587 crashed in the Rockaways just after takeoff from Kennedy Airport, killing all aboard.”I plan to leave a long letter at home for our boys, Brad and Danny, in the event I don’t come back,” Alden said. “I don’t want them to experience what I went through when Edward died without any last-minute communication with him.”

Brad States, a sixth-grader, gets support in the form of periodic counseling from his school guidance counselor. “She makes herself available when I am depressed,” he said.

Since Sept. 11, 2001, Rashad Roberts, varsity quarterback for Westbury High School, has spent only weekends with his father, Senior Master Sgt. Dean Roberts. After the attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, Roberts, who is a police detective at the 42nd Precinct in the Morrisania section of the Bronx, was ordered to McGuire Air Force Base as part of the security forces squadron.

“My dad told me to take care of the house,” Rashad Roberts said. “Since he is gone a lot, I clean the snow off, help my mom in the kitchen and other chores he used to do.” His mother videotaped most of the varsity football games that her husband missed, sending them to him for his comments.

“He always came to my baseball and football games,” the 17-year-old quarterback said. “Since he has been gone the last 18 months, it’s a great way for us to stay in touch.”

The family attends Baldwin Baptist Church every Sunday. “We say a prayer for my dad every week,” Rashad Roberts said. “It helps lessen the anxiety.”

His sister, Candace, 19, a junior at Briarcliffe College in Bethpage, said, “Because Dad is away so much, I cherish spending quality time with him at home. We watch movies together on the VCR or just hang out at home and talk.”

Wayne Hanna, who will carry his daughters’ bracelet, knows how hard his being deployed can be for his family. “The military families that stay behind are the true heroes of this war.... It is much harder on them than it is with us.”
Copyright © 2003, Newsday, Inc.

Paul Wisenthal is a freelance writer; BILL ZIMMERMAN, editor.

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