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Paul Wisenthal is a freelance writer; BILL ZIMMERMAN,
editor
January 29, 2003
OF WAR AND SEPARATION
By Paul Wisenthal
When Mom or Dad Are Called Up
Megan Hanna, 12, and her sister Erin, 9, of Bay Shore, keep reminding
their dad to carry a colorful bracelet they made for him in a pocket of
his flight suit.
The bracelet - made with plastic beads spelling out their names and their
mother's - is their way of accompanying their father, Master Sgt. Wayne
Hanna, when he leaves next month for the Persian Gulf. Hanna, a flight
engineer with the 514th Air Mobility Wing at McGuire Air Force Base in New
Jersey, is getting prepared in case President George W. Bush chooses to go
to war against Iraq.
The girls gave the bracelet to him on Valentine's Day last year just
before he flew his 40th mission - that one was over Afghanistan; others
have been over Iraq's no-fly zone. Iraq's aircraft are banned from flying
over this area, patrolled by U.S. and British aircraft to protect the
Kurds living there. Hanna is the flight engineer aboard an Air Force KC-10
aircraft, a modified DC-10, which refuels fighter planes.
"It helps me to know that he carries this with him on his flight suit,"
said Megan. "I keep a diary and write about him. My sister and I also
e-mail him every day."
Many children in our area are facing the harsh reality of a close relative
leaving to prepare for war. A U.S. force of more than 150,000 is
ultimately expected to be poised for battle. Like the Hanna sisters, many
of the family members left behind develop ways to help them cope.
"It can be scary thinking that my dad might not return," said Chris Singh,
16, a junior at Half Hollow Hills High School West in Dix Hills. His
father, also named Chris Singh, is a manager in the U.S. Postal Service
and maintenance specialist with the rank of master sergeant with the
514th. He has completed two tours of duty in the Persian Gulf region since
Sept. 11, 2001. He expects to be deployed again soon.
"I pick up Newsday and read the international section every day," said
Chris Jr. "It helps when I read in the paper that nothing serious happened
to my dad's unit."
The younger Singh adds, "I also help my mom in the kitchen and sit at the
head of the table and say grace while he is away." His sister, Melissa,
20, recently brought home Zora, a tabby kitten, from a local pet shelter
to comfort her mother, Sarah. "She cries a lot when my dad is away," she
said. "Having Zora around should help her during this difficult time."
For Christmas, the family presented the elder Singh with a ring inscribed
"Dad" and a small photo of the family framed in a miniature recorder that
carries family members saying, "We love you Dad, miss you old man, hope
you miss us." He plans to carry it and the ring in his flight suit. "When
I miss the family," Singh said, "I can look at the photo and hear their
voices."
Many parents in the military prepare their families for their
leave-taking. For Senior Master Sgt. Mary Alden of Plainsboro, N.J., who
is on the deployment list and also is with the 514th Air Mobility Wing,
this means writing a sealed letter to her sons, aged 9 and 12, to be
opened should she not return.
Her preparation is all the more necessary since her husband, Capt. Edward
States, an airline pilot, died Nov. 12, 2001, when American Airlines
Flight 587 crashed in the Rockaways just after takeoff from Kennedy
Airport, killing all aboard."I plan to leave a long letter at home for our
boys, Brad and Danny, in the event I don't come back," Alden said. "I
don't want them to experience what I went through when Edward died without
any last-minute communication with him."
Brad States, a sixth-grader, gets support in the form of periodic
counseling from his school guidance counselor. "She makes herself
available when I am depressed," he said.
Since Sept. 11, 2001, Rashad Roberts, varsity quarterback for Westbury
High School, has spent only weekends with his father, Senior Master Sgt.
Dean Roberts. After the attacks on the World Trade Center and the
Pentagon, Roberts, who is a police detective at the 42nd Precinct in the
Morrisania section of the Bronx, was ordered to McGuire Air Force Base as
part of the security forces squadron.
"My dad told me to take care of the house," Rashad Roberts said. "Since he
is gone a lot, I clean the snow off, help my mom in the kitchen and other
chores he used to do." His mother videotaped most of the varsity football
games that her husband missed, sending them to him for his comments.
"He always came to my baseball and football games," the 17-year-old
quarterback said. "Since he has been gone the last 18 months, it's a great
way for us to stay in touch."
The family attends Baldwin Baptist Church every Sunday. "We say a prayer
for my dad every week," Rashad Roberts said. "It helps lessen the
anxiety."
His sister, Candace, 19, a junior at Briarcliffe College in Bethpage,
said, "Because Dad is away so much, I cherish spending quality time with
him at home. We watch movies together on the VCR or just hang out at home
and talk."
Wayne Hanna, who will carry his daughters' bracelet, knows how hard his
being deployed can be for his family. "The military families that stay
behind are the true heroes of this war.... It is much harder on them than
it is with us."
Copyright © 2003,
Newsday, Inc.
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